‘Creed III’ or — Solid State Cinema?

Spoiling ‘Creed III’ (2023) is both an impossibility and an inevitability because if I was to describe even the opening ten minutes then you would not only be able to predict the ending with mathematical precision but also simultaneously visualise every single plot point existing within because as soon as this film is observed it undergoes an instantaneous wave function collapse that annihilates all potential superpositions into one of complete atomic definition. It’s that type of movie.

So if I was to tell you that the film opens with a retired Adonis Creed meeting up with an old childhood buddy who has just come out of prison with a bullish attitude and an intense passion to box only for the rival Adonis Creed’s protégé was going to fight for the World Champion title being injured meaning Creed now has to suddenly find a last minute replacement rival who has a bullish attitude and an intense passion to box resulting in Creed going “Hmm, now who on earth do I know who has a bullish attitude and an intense passion to box? I’d better make a sensible decision and not pick somebody who’s just come straight out of prison even though they have a bullish attitude and an intense passion to box because then I’ll have to come out of retirement and reclaim the title” then you can see exactly where this film is going before it’s actually started.

Or how about if I let you know that roughly fifteen minutes in Creed’s mother turns to him and cheerfully says “Don’t worry, dear. It’s not as if I’m going to suddenly die of a stroke… at least, not tonight. Tee-hee!” then what do YOU think is going to occur in precisely 57 min and 29 sec’s time? See, you already know so I haven’t spoiled a thing so you only have yourself to blame if you’re now accurately imagining the entire movie purely by being a creature capable of conscious thought.

In that respect ‘Creed III’ is a marvel of solid state construction as it’s a flawless example of inertia, total chronological suspension and zero vibrational motion. The film simply sits in front of you in its entirety, totally unmoving and freely observable from all available angles to such an extent you could set it down in the Nevada desert and call it a piece of Michael Heizer land-art titled ‘Inert Installation Complex №4’ and nobody would be able to tell the difference.

Or maybe a more accurate analogy is with Steve Reich’s ‘Clapping Music’ in that you can mathematically predict all future patterns because all the enclosed information is contained within its very inception, but even that is inaccurate because ‘Clapping Music’ unfolds whereas ‘Creed III’ exists in a purely crystalline state where any unfolding or forward movement is an molecular impossibility (it has a narrative structure closer to that of silicon dioxide as opposed to that of an actual story).

All this turns the spectator into a bored god incapable of experiencing linear time but, instead, viewing all of infinity as a singular, discrete unit. Sure, there’s some decent acting going on, I guess, but the incompressible lattice morphology of ‘Creed III’ (a recurring problem with many movies these days) renders it all completely meaningless.

Overall, watching ‘Creed III’ is a strange experience because it’s less a movie and more the cinematic equivalent of an executive desk toy where every single possible motion is instantly observable as a fixed temporal gestalt. But if that kinda thing’s your bag then I guess you’ll have a blast.