‘Juggernaut’ or — Attack of the Lesterisms?
Apparently Richard Lester defended his bombs-on-a-ship thriller ‘Juggernaut’ (1974) by declaring that “the mistake most people make is to think it’s a disaster movie when that wasn’t what it was at all.” Fair enough Richard, although that does automatically raise the all important question — then what the bloody hell is it? Annoying? Irritating? Your typical Richard Lester movie?
Some claim the film is, in fact, a subtle satire about the decline of the British Empire (subtle? The bloody ship’s called the ‘SS Britannic’!). I disagree. I see ‘Juggernaut’ as further evidence of Lester’s inability to control either himself or his misguided belief that filmmaking can be boiled down to three specific components, namely insufferable arse-ing, dicking and fannying about.
Seriously, the guy’s incapable of restraining himself so if there’s even the faintest opening for a sight gag, prat-fall or another unendurable piece of faux silent slapstick he’ll whack it in regardless if it’s pertinent to anything going on around it or not. Why do you think the opening to ‘Superman III’ (1983) is so bloody intolerable?
“Oh well,” I sighed to myself, “at least with a movie about domestic terrorism, death and extortion he won’t be tempted to attempt any of that shit here.”
Except he does! And boy, does he go for it.
In fact, the film’s opening act — you know, the act where most other directors would be concentrating on character development, creating emotional stakes and generally building the tension — is nothing but an empty litany of god-awful Lesterisms: i.e. unfunny buffoonery, grating horseplay and needless zany inanity. Look! There’s Roy Kinnear carrying a placard! And we instinctively know that, being a Richard Lester movie, he’s going to accidentally drop it… which he does! Hilarious! And that, folks, is Richard Lester’s idea of escalating the suspense and increasing the anxiety — Roy Kinnear dropping a placard.
Now all this would be appropriate for a Beatles comedy or a Musketeers romp but for a thriller about bomb disposal experts it’s lethal (it’s like watching 1994’s ‘Speed’ but if it starred Norman Wisdom instead of Keanu Reeves). It does more irreparable damage to the movie than any bomb could do to the actual ship because Lester’s addiction to excruciating tomfoolery completely annihilates any and all possible fear, drama or giving a damn about anyone on-board. For example — there’s a moment when one of the explosives is about to detonate and a crew member is caught in the blast… because he slips up and falls on his bottom. Oh no! How’s the next person going to die, Richard? A custard pie to the face? Or is Roy Kinnear going to drop a placard on them?
Also, Lester isn’t that great with the action. At one point Richard Harris and his team board the ship after being dropped into the ocean by helicopter. It should be a scene bursting with nail-biting excitement as these men in the North Sea desperately struggle to climb up a rope, yet because it has the look of a 1970’s British TV show it’s more like watching outtakes from ‘Go With Noakes’ than anything else. Meanwhile an inert Omar Sharif is on the bridge looking like he’s failing the audition for a particularly uninteresting episode of ‘Triangle’ or ‘Howards’ Sodding Way’.
The film does have a strong vérité feel about it, however, although by that I don’t mean we ever feel like we’re watching real bomb disposal experts defusing real explosive devices but that we’re literally watching Richard Harris and David Hemmings completely pissed on set whilst Richard Lester stands being the camera shouting at them “Now do something annoying and stupid! And… action!” THAT kind of vérité.
So what is ‘Juggernaut’ if it isn’t a disaster movie? Don’t ask me because, quite frankly, I haven’t got a bloody clue.
