‘Live Like a Cop, Die Like a Man’ or — Police Corruption?
Contains Strong Language.
Deodato’s ‘Live Like a Cop, Die Like a Man’ starts with an almost ‘Midnight Cowboy’ vibe with two young men riding pillion on a bike together, one holding the other close to him, through a bustling city as a sort Harry Nilsson-esque song plays over the opening titles. Awww, this looks sweet and potentially rather touching. Is this going to be a portrait of sensitive male bonding and love that… Oh, they’ve just brutally executed a bag-snatcher and, possibly, killed a few innocent bystanders in the process. Hmm… I think these two might actually be a couple of cunts.
Fred and Tony are two cops and it seems their plan to stop crime in Italy once and for all is by… killing everyone in Rome? It certainly appears that way as they not only constantly break the law with ZERO consequences but it is sometimes unclear as to what it is they are exactly attempting to do apart from swimming in some extremely murky moral waters, and the only thing murkier than their morals is the story which I’m still not sure I can work out even if I tried (something to do with tracking down a crime boss?). What I do know is that Fred and Tony are members of an elite force (called ‘The Special Squad’ and I’m not saying a word as to how that might apply to these two) for Rome’s police in the 1970s. You can tell these are Italian male cops from the 1970’s because they view a computer as some sort of magical brain from the future and women as some sort of magical fuck-doll from the past.
Because of their tough, no-nonsense (or, more accurately, no-sense), approach to police-work this film gets compared to both ‘Dirty Harry’ (1971) and ‘The French Connection’ (1971) yet the movie it has most in common with is Richard Rush’s excellent ‘Freebie and The Bean’ (1974) with its unorthodox buddy cops premise. But what this film lacks is any ounce of charm or genuine wit with the only thing more puerile than Deodato’s morals being his sense of humour. This is a problem as if the movie is a satire and a self-aware excuse for excessive behaviour then it fails as the “comedy” falls flat and is practically undetectable, if there at all. That leaves us with the other option which is to take the film at face value and if we do that it is a horror show of moral depravity. Yet the biggest problem is that it is almost impossible to figure out exactly what side the film actually falls on, making the movie an infuriating watch.
And it’s shame as the first thirty five minutes or so are fantastic starting with a superb ten-minute long chase sequence through Rome which must have been entirely illegal to film, a number of shocking and violent deaths, wanton destruction and vandalism of expensive cars by these two “cops” and all wrapped-up in a real who-gives-a-fuck attitude. It was sleazy and depraved but also pretty awesome.
But then, like a corrupt detective, the entire film goes off the rails and for the two dreaded fatal reasons that can be the death-knell of an exploitation movie: being offensive and exasperating. I was going to say that the sexual politics are all over the place but they aren’t; they’re completely in the gutter as these two psychopaths not only fuck their cleaner’s niece but also female co-workers and even er… suspects?!!!!! This is just one of the reasons I’m glad the movie didn’t really make any sense as if, for even a second, it took itself seriously it would be utterly unwatchable. Sure, one of the secretaries gives a funny speech tearing into these two and their offensive and juvenile machismo but it feels like an insincere mea culpa for the film to act like a prick.
Then the momentum suddenly loses focus around forty minutes in which is a shame as without that crazy energy these demented two assholes become a total chore to hang out with. The narrative becomes episodic to the point of irritation and all propulsive, if revolting, exuberance is lost. The pacing isn’t as snappy throughout as in, say, Lenzi’s ‘The Cynic, The Rat and The Fist’ (1977) and because the film is front-loaded with action and silliness by the time it kicks back in again it feels too little too late. With only 25 minutes left it’s scrappy as hell and the entire film feels unsalvageable, even if there are a few fun and well executed scenes left to enjoy.
This leads us to the biggest crime committed by this movie — it manages to waste what I thought was going to be the only logical and moral ending to the film but, instead, it lets these two maniacs off the hook. Just when it seems this psychotic Starsky and Hutch are going to get their inevitable comeuppance in an ending that could have actually saved and redeemed the movie, Deodato opts for a lazy, infantile climax that feels like a cop-out and is nothing more than a cheap gag. Oh,how I wanted to see these two actually die.
It is a shame that ‘Live Like a Cop, Die Like a Man’ falters as there is a lot to get a kick out of here; Deodato displays some great direction, there’s some really nice camera-work and the script is by Fernando Di Leo who penned the truly excellent ‘Milano Calibro 9’. This should be a film to enjoy but with too many issues, both technical and moral, getting in the way it left me thinking the film should have been titled ‘Live Like a Dick, Die Like a Twat’.
