‘Midsommar’ or — Breaking Up is Hard To Do… And Watch.
Apparently Ari Aster made ‘Midsommar’ (2019) after a relationship break-up which is good to know because otherwise I’d have no bloody idea what the film was actually meant to be about. Although it does get me wondering how his relationship actually ended that it pushed him to make such a movie in the first place. I have the hunch it went something like this –
SCENE — University Campus, August, 2006. Ari and his girlfriend are leaving the cinema after watching the Nicholas Cage ‘The Wicker Man’ remake.
GIRLFRIEND — That was absolutely terrib…
ARI — Amazing! That was the best film I’ve ever seen in my life! When I’m a world-famous movie director I’m going to remake that as soon as I can, except make it even more vacuous and indulgent and it also needs to be an hour longer because that will be great movie-making.
GIRLFRIEND — Er… is that not a little shallow and stupid?
ARI — Exactly! That’s the first thing I learned at film-school: it doesn’t matter if it’s shallow and stupid as long as it looks technically impressive. Have you learnt nothing from those Ridley Scott and David Fincher films I’ve forced you to watch? No wonder everyone thinks I’m still only going out with you because of your mental health problems.
GIRLFRIEND — I don’t have mental health problems.
ARI — Of course you do. Everyone knows that! Men are laid back dude types who hang out with their friends and drink beer and smoke weed and write their PhDs, and all women have mental health problems and are emotionally unstable and on medication. Get with the program!
GIRLFRIEND — Look Ari, I’ve been thinking and maybe we should stop seeing each other.
ARI — Are you crazy?! Everyone knows people who date at
University stay together forever. This is the age when relationships are at their deepest and most profound — your mid-twenties! And you’re going to throw all this away? Has the last month and a half meant nothing to you?!
GIRLFRIEND — No, it’s just that you can be somewhat impossi…
ARI — Oh my god, you want me to die! You want me to be burned alive because you hate me and have mental health problems! (Takes out his notebook to scribble that idea down)
GIRLFRIEND — I don’t want you to…
ARI — I see it in the eyes of everyone I meet. Whenever I talk people look at me as though they wish I was burning to death because I know how people work and I’m a genius and they all have mental health problems.
GIRLFRIEND — We just need to break-up. I’ll give you back your David Fincher DVDS and Semisonic albums tomorrow.
ARI — Well I’ll get my revenge for this! I’m going to remake the remake of ‘The Wicker Man’ and make it even longer and stupid AND have even more stuff about a guy being dressed up as a bear in it. Yeah, remember that bit? I heard you mocking it with your evil snickering during the movie. Well that’s going to be the entire crux of my version! How do you like that?! I’ll show you, I’ll show the entire world, what shallow and stupid really means!
GIRLFRIEND — Police!
