‘Robotrix’ or — Confessions of a T-800?
Have you ever wanted to see a movie where The Terminator fights Robocop only The Terminator was a sex-crazed maniac and Robocop had massive tits? You have?! Well, the good news is I know a movie that might just fit that deeply perverted bill.
An evil scientist has managed to transfer his mind into the body of an indestructible cyborg. What does he want with such incredible power? To attack and kill prostitutes! Fortunately a good scientist has managed to transfer the mind of a deceased sexy police woman into the sexy body of a sexy robot, a sexy robot that can be used to track down and stop this murderous cyborg. And that, basically, is the uncut version of ‘Robotrix’ (1991) in a somewhat messed-up nutshell.
The bad news is if you’re looking for a taut, dark sci-fi thriller along the lines of Cameron or Verhoeven you’ll be sorely disappointed because despite containing all the ingredients to deliver on that particular expectation what you initially get is an idiotic sex comedy (this is less something you’d see Arnold Schwarzenegger in than Robin Askwith). The good news is that if you approach ‘Robotrix’ as an idiotic sex comedy you’ll be blown off your seat when it suddenly becomes a kick-ass, robot smack-down action flick. So, much like a M. C. Escher lithograph, what you experience depends on how you view it.
The “comedy” primarily revolves around the fact that the two female sexy robots (played by Amy Yip and Chikako Aoyama) are so ridiculously attractive that even their fellow police officers want to sleep with them. This would be intolerable if it wasn’t for the fact director Jamie Luk manages to keep everything knowingly daft and, more importantly, entertaining. What also helps is that despite being obviously shot fast and cheap ‘Robotrix’ is a frequently good-looking movie boasting some gorgeous set and lighting design, so fans of that early 90’s neon and pastels vibe are going to have a blast here.
When our two heroines finally do come up against the evil cyborg the film explodes into ‘Girls With Guns’ mode so anyone familiar with, say, Yeoh and Rothrock’s Hong Kong output will know exactly what to expect. And if you don’t know exactly what to expect then trust me, this is a very good thing.
From here until the end it’s non-stop mayhem and because our two leads are inhuman androids there’s plenty of scope for throwing them through windows, walls and any and all readily available objects without lasting damage, and because Luk doesn’t take his foot off the comedy pedal this tips the frenetic action into the realm of full-blown lunacy.
This lunacy is the film’s secret weapon (apparently one of the actors said the movie was tricky to make because everyone was constantly laughing all the time, and you can understand why) because despite being classified as one of the notorious Hong Kong Category III flicks and containing a shed load of nudity (both female and male) and ultra-violence ‘Robotrix’s sense of silliness means it not only never comes close to being genuinely nasty, gross or distasteful (okay, maybe just a bit) but is surprisingly good-natured if not downright adorable.
Still, this is not a film for everyone and you could justifiably accuse ‘Robotrix’ of committing many cinematic and moral crimes. Fortunately the one it’s most guilty of is being unbelievably fun.
