1 day ago‘The Inspector Wears Skirts’ or — Rothrock Makes Everything Better?If you’re a Cynthia Rothrock fan and are going into ‘The Inspector Wears Skirts’ (1988) expecting a load of Rothrock action you’re initially going to be sorely disappointed as not only does she hardly appear in the movie but, excellent brief opening sequence aside, she doesn’t seem to appear in…Inspector Wears Skirts3 min readInspector Wears Skirts3 min read
3 days ago‘Fallen Leaves’ or — The Power of Cinema?Two lonely people meet in a cold and indifferent, although never wholly cruel or vindictive, world. She is aware of the emptiness in her life; he smothers it with alcohol. They go to the cinema, fall in love (and isn’t going to the cinema always a form of love?) and…Fallen Leaves3 min readFallen Leaves3 min read
5 days ago‘Next Goal Wins’ or — Not Waititi’s Worst Film, but That’s Also its Biggest Problem?I’d heard bad things about Taika Waititi’s ‘Next Goal Wins’ (2023) so was somewhat surprised to discover it’s not as bloody god-awful as I’d been led to believe. Sure, it’s got massive issues, is shockingly formulaic and practically none of the humour lands but none of those are the film’s…Next Goal Wins3 min readNext Goal Wins3 min read
Nov 30‘The 7 Grandmasters’ or — Gonad Shatteringly Entertaining?Joseph Kuo’s ‘The 7 Grandmasters’ (1977) has a plot so simple it’s barely worth mentioning, but I’ll do so anyway. Kung fu master Shang-Kuan Cheng (Jack Long) is in the middle of his retirement celebrations when a mysterious note, fixed to a flying dagger, arrives declaring that Cheng can’t retire…The 7 Grandmasters3 min readThe 7 Grandmasters3 min read
Nov 28‘The Love Bug’ or — A Better Counter-Culture Movie than ‘Easy Rider’?Attending my first rally car race at the weekend left me with the overwhelming urge to revisit a favourite film from my childhood, Disney’s ‘The Love Bug’ (1968). Yet when I settled down to watch it last night I felt a sudden shudder of trepidation. What if it was shit…The Love Bug4 min readThe Love Bug4 min read
Nov 27‘The Crimes of Stephen Hawke’ or — Spine-Breakingly Hilarious?It opens with musical comedy duo Flotsam and Jetsam in a radio studio singing to us the headlines from today’s newspaper after which a radio announcer interviews Mr. Henry Hopkins, a cockney cat food manufacturer, who informs us that cats like strong meat (so does a cinema audience so we…Crimes Of Stephen Hawke4 min readCrimes Of Stephen Hawke4 min read
Nov 26‘The Corduroy Wearer’s Guide to Rally Car Racing’Despite the Wachowski’s cinematic masterpiece ‘Speed Racer’ (2008) being one of my favourite movies I’ve always been totally ignorant about the sport of motorcar racing (the only time I’ve ended up with oil on my hands is when I’ve tossed a salad), so when the opportunity to attend the Galloway…Classic Rally Cars4 min readClassic Rally Cars4 min read
Nov 23‘Maria Marten, or The Murder in the Red Barn’ or — Entering the Slaughterhouse?Tod Slaughter was an English actor who specialised in playing over the top, melodramatic Victorian villains in a string of films made in the 1930’s. I’d never even heard of the guy let alone seen any of his movies so was both curious and totally ignorant of what to expect…Murder In The Red Barn3 min readMurder In The Red Barn3 min read
Nov 21‘Long Arm of the Law’ or — Nightmare Alley?A group of criminals from China’s ‘Big Circle Gang’, all ex-army, illegally enter Hong Kong in order to carry out a jewel store robbery. What should be a quick in-and-out job soon spirals out of control after the gang are used as fall guys for a hit job on an…Long Arm Of The Law Film3 min readLong Arm Of The Law Film3 min read
Nov 19Just HOW Wanky is Glasgow’s West End? The Truth Revealed!So on Friday afternoon a good friend of mine took us both out for an early dinner. “I’ll pay for it,” he told me, “if you promise to review it.” Being an impoverished writer, and hence knowing never to pass up a free meal, I gladly accepted although when I…Humor6 min readHumor6 min read
